The 100 National Defects by Samuel Petkanov: The Campaign for the Winters and the Communes
A large part of our nation has the self-confidence that it is worthy to govern, and after the election is surprised that even their own relatives did not vote support
The Encyclopaedia of the Bulgarian Nation's 100 National Defects section continues to relegate topics such as peppers to dry, with the sentence kindly reminding the reader to string their own peppers or make them into some sort of zimnina. Now is the time!
In addition to the opening of the winterberry campaign, another campaign has opened - for the township. In both, surprises are in store, from the prices of the raw materials to the taste of the final product. Of course, just as some people prefer their chutney with real pieces of zarzavat, others prefer it smooth, so the popular attitudes on who should be mayor, councillor and who should go back to their old job are divided.
We are a people most united in our desire to divide. We divide over petty household things like whether the tare should have cucumbers scraped off, or like people, toilet paper, whether we should put it so it comes out the back and the bottom, or the front and the top. We also divide over geopolitical matters, such as when we think Russia will fail in its attempt to destroy Ukraine and indulge in another revolution - some think it will be these days, others that not only will it not happen, but that nothing like it has ever happened to our big brother, mother and father.
So it is no surprise that these days we divided again, even more ceremonially than usual - into candidates for mayor and councilors and kibitzers. And while the first group is huge, the kibbutzim are not to be underestimated either, and each kibbutz has about 700 candidates to choose from to write on the upcoming 2-3 ballots.
The reader here will say, so what's the big deal about that - all over the world people are voting for different candidates and arguing over who is better. But here we have a peculiarity of our own. It is two-sided.
On the one hand, our candidate for mayor often so nobody knows who he is and what he is like that he has to boast and tout himself. So much of our people have the self-confidence that they are worthy to govern, and then after the election are surprised that even their own relatives and friends didn't vote support, that we're going to be listening for a month to self-confessions about how these people's only weakness is honesty, morality and hard work.
They will point it out themselves, because often the candidates on the mayor-council lists have not even convinced their party mates of their qualities, but have been lowered, parachuted and installed into them by the big party chiefs. Often the motives for this remain unclear, but the consolation is that at least the bigwigs and despots at headquarters would vote for them.
The lesson learned is that it's time for a winterization, but care must be taken not to have to winterize the winterization and repair the repair because it's expensive, time consuming, and the neighbor is a sourpuss.